Through the Looking Glass

woke up to the glorious news: no PIL today! hallelujah! God loves us! in one fell swoop all 3 thurs. classes have declared they are not holding class! =)  this is nothing short of a miracle…  dahil nga ba sa Superman? ewan ko…

3rd year has been good to me so far. none of the stress of last sem. all my profs have been pretty reasonable…  my first recit wasn’t spectacular, i flubbed a bit… twas probably a 3 but you know me, anything’s better than a 5. hehehe. i have exceedingly low standards.

tito ed and elbereth and eric arrived from the US last week so i was pretty busy. i went with them to the mall and to duty free and we went partying at libis, in this club called blue onion… it was a lot of fun. we got in touch with our tourist roots. hahaha. and going to a bar with my goddaughter/cousin means I AM SOO OLD! (meron kaming 12 yr gap e) so there, i console myself withthe fact that i look like a college student anyway…

to celebrate the free day i watched "Dot the I" and refused to read anything law-related… Gael Garcia Bernal was totally hot as always. I loved the movie as I knew I would since he only chooses good projects. *sigh* I love him on an entirely stalkerish level! I can’t wait for the next movie I wish there were more actors like him…

I have just finished watching yet another korean series (which was great, by the way) when I am yet again struck by the feeling that there has to be more to summer than bumming around all day… yes, it’s my fault, I should’ve found more things to do. Oh well, I still have a month or so to go. I wish I could put my finger on the type of work I want to do this summer. If all else fails I can always read for next sem, right? I definitely want to visit Cribs before school starts, there’s that.

darn the afternoon nap i took! it totally threw my body clock outta whack… anyways, i just wanted to share this bit that i found online…

Q: If your life were a film, what would it be called?

Gael Garcia Bernal: "Hey- He Actually Speaks English!"

hahaha! love ko talaga si Gael! and here I go again wishing I knew someone like him… asa pa. when is he going back to Hong Kong for some trade talk? Sana sa Phils. din.

I would so love to go to South America! That would be one of the regions of the world that I aim on exploring sometime when I raise enough funds. My great-aunt gave me money for books a year ago and I keep it in a dollar account so that I don’t spend it on *God forbid* books so that I can use it to go to Europe after I graduate. After singing at the grad ceremonies of Batch 2006, I realized we only had 2 years left and a year where we wouldn’t be singing the grad song in a toga. I can’t wait! :)  My great-aunt agreed to go with me on a European tour and this would mean less expenses for me (kasi syempre sasama nya ako so dapat libre ako di ba?) and more time alloted for my Asian tour? hehe. whatever. My mom promised she would buy me a ticket to Europe as a graduation gift BUT if auntie buys it for me instead then I would gladly take cash. hahaha! greedy ole me strikes again. of course i would need pocket cash! my gosh, i am sooo excited! i wish the next 2 years would just fly by but then I would also want to cherish what time my blockmates have left. Also I’m thinking of how it’ll eat into my studying for the Bar… good thing i’ll get review classes. I will insist we leave after graduation so that’ll be what? April 20 to end of May? Nyek. Kapal ko talaga no? I’ll just study on the plane or train or wherever… and here I am rambling again. hahaha! there is some talk that we may just get a tour package of Europe so that’ll just be 2 weeks. For shame, I really wanted it to be long and luxurious but that’s when you have lotsa money and time right? sayang talaga i thought i’d be touring europe with my boyfriend or husband but that’s life (or lack of lovelife). a relative willing to pay for me will just do. I was just reading a post in pinoy exchange about backpacking through Europe and I am all psyched to travel! my parents went to germany, france, spain, italy already and well, singapore and hong kong and so far, i’ve only been to thailand, which is nice, don’t get me wrong but compared to them that isn’t much. how i would love to go to the louvre, la boca de verita (hello gregory peck and audrey hepburn!), to the eiffel tower, and all those other places in pictures they’ve already been to. i guess going there with a senior citizen would be fine bec. other than me, i also couldn’t think of anyone she’d take. and my great-aunt HAS to see europe. everyone has to! it would be a shame to never travel the world in your lifetime, wouldn’t it? and that’s why i want to spend my precious grad prize/gift on plane tickets. if only for that wouldn’t we want to study Law??? I know I do.

I am the laziest creature alive because of my lack of summer classes! (hello, Ma!) Lately I have been watching cd after cd of Arrested Development, Gilmore Girls, Numb3rs and My Girl and Jewel in the Palace and though I cannot say it has not been fun, I would very much like to go out. So many things to do! Where do I start?  After CivPro, I guess I’m not too eager to read my Rules of Court codal so that’s out of the picture. Haha!

• I guess I feel both relieved and anxious that I am about to take the finals for this sem. Well, if you were me you would be too, not really keeping up to par and studying… being the classic crammer that I am. I don’t know, every sem I promise myself that I will study harder and somehow I have the gall not to.
• Today I felt bad for being so short-tempered with my blockmates (even if they might not have noticed, I know I was not my usual nice self. haha. That did not sound so humble). I’m sorry. Being the CivPro leader is really taking its toll on me. I absolutely hate it. Andami dapat gawin when I just want to do my own thing (like study for some other subject or go out and forget all about THAT subject). I hate it when I get all nervous and fidgety just thinking of all the things I have yet to do… Hopefully by next week things will be better…
• Speaking of which I am up for recit on Monday. This time I will really study for the whole of Sunday! I will not bother with the real cases no time for that. Good luck na lang next week. Important thing is I know my provisions. :)  I hope Maam stays in a good mood! And I hope she passes all of us because of Proc. 1017. Hehehe.
• Guess who came back? I hope he does well this time. He has so much potential! I wish him the best. Anyways, I don’t really feel for him the way that I felt before (in that sem when everything was good and there were no recits) but I still can’t wait to see him and catch up…
• There are news that the block may get dissolved. We all pray that will not happen. I love my block so. Everytime someone talks about it I get all teary-eyed… it’s rare you get to meet people like these who feel like your own family when you’re with them… It’s so hard to find good people and I’m happy I have a block full of them I can call my friends. =)  Whatever happens I’m glad to have met all of you guys!

It’s been some time since I’ve written here. I am updating my blog an older and wiser person, closer to either failing or passing CivPro. I already thought about it, and as per my mother’s advice I might as well not drop it if it means repeating another half sem. Kebs na daw kung bumagsak, baka naman makapasa. Makes sense.

Valentin’e day na naman, the cheapest, corniest at most contrived holiday ever! Buti na lang wala ako pasok that day kaya pwede niyo ako mayaya. *ahem* Hahahaha! Incidentally, we have a flower sale that week so I am plugging that too. We may sell coffee too. Chocolates, most probably. As usual my friends will be giving me flowers. Nope, no boys in sight. I’d rather have a date to the Winlaw Ball than a Vday date, to tell you honestly. So message me if you have any suggestions. All he has to do is show up, he doesn’t have to take me home or anything. Heehee! How high school-ish. But then, as Anya aptly said, being in law school is like being in high school. But scarier. Amplified times ten even. There are the same terror profs, same crushes on the profs, same crushes on some guy you’ll probably never approach, same frenzied studying for exams… I miss undergrad!

Let me just say for the nth time that I really love Gael Garcia Bernal! *sigh* An actor with brilliance, intensity, true talent and a heart to go with his good looks. Sayang wala ako sa Hong Kong nung pumunta siya dun to support Oxfam’s campaign for fair trade at the WTO meeting they held there. 

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(c/o http://gaelonline.com/press.php)

Lately I have had more time to go out than usual and this is the only time I got a chance to type something out… it’s my sister’s birthday today and she’s a true blue teenager now (13) so I guess we shouldn’t call her Baby anymore (or in my case, Bebs and Bebeh, out of sheer laziness. Hehehe). But I think she wouldn’t want us to stop. I’m happy she turned out okay despite my influence. hehehe. Or did she? I can’t read minds, you know… anyways, back to ME. (haha! what a diva thing to say!)

I didn’t get to go to mass as planned. (Sorry God I will make up for it somehow.) However, I did get to watch the Pope’s Christmas message and he actually said "Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon!), to my shock and surprise. The commentator said the Pope realizes the devout Catholicism of our country or something of that nature. Yey! It’s about time! Mabuhay ang mga Pinoy!

I’ve become addicted to watching "Etheria". Maybe it’s bec. of Ping Medina? Or maybe it’s because wala nang "PBB" sa ere and I need a reason to watch TV? So far the story’s shaping up well. Due to the fact I have been out every single night for the past week I didn’t get to watch and am now in the dark as to whether Hagorn and Minea are a couple already. "Only You" din. Hay. La naman ako magawa tapos na e.

I need a distraction. I am now absolutely sure I have gotten over my crush. How depressing! Ang dalang ko nga magkacrush tapos mawawala din pala… Hanggang crush na lang ba ako uli? Slim pickings na lang ba palagi dahil nasa law school ako? And am I ever going to meet anyone new? Is this the effect of not dating? I hope not. I am still adverse to dating as I maintain courtship is entirely FAKE. Hence, I may end up single for the rest of my life. *gulp*

Am totally enamored with Chuck Palahniuk!!! Would love to get to know more of his work. Am now kicking myself for wasting time and not downloading an e-book or two while online. "Fight Club" rocks! I totally did not expect that twist… Brilliant! I definitely want to have his… Haha! Kidding! I won’t go there…

Merry Christmas everyone! Cheers to my blockmates who like moi haven’t picked up a single case or flipped through Regalado as of yet…

Christmas party’s over and I have Kalin’s wonderful gift of romantic poetry to read again and again. This is the BEST gift I’ve gotten in a long while and I am happy I’ve rediscovered the verses of e.e. cummings, Rilke and Neruda in a time I can properly enjoy them, what with no CivPro and all… This, incidentally, is the first poem I read out of the book (and– a happy coincidence! It is one poem I love so well):

‘Sonnet XVII: Love’

I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

===========

This evening we went to the mall and I got a cd/mp3 player/boom box for my room and it was sheer bliss listening to the "Il Postino" soundtrack and Andy Garcia spouting one of my favorite poems:

TONIGHT I CAN WRITE
PABLO NERUDA

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, `The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night, whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another’s. She will be another’s. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

==============

Neruda, you never cease to leave me starry-eyed! Hehe. (Pardon my mush) For some reason, after a long while, I finally am back to my old appreciation for poetry which was slowly quashed by literature of a different kind… that of the Rules of Court, Labor Code and the New Civil Code that we have to keep near and dear to our hearts and memorize verbatim up to the last comma. *sigh* Mass Comm did not prepare me for this kind of studying, that’s for sure. With our relatively long holiday break I am glad to be surrounded by Christmas carols and the prospect of reading my backlog of books, watching the two Korean dramas I have left and of course, updating my blog. I also look forward to writing again, be it stories or poetry, borne out of inspiration from reading great literature (Although I never show it to anyone so no one’s the wiser even if I do get any done. Haha!). I guess being as creative and sensitive and such as I would want to think/claim I am, I can only function in that way in an environment of idleness at decadence. Hence, Christmas time is perfect! Hehe! Merry Christmas everyone! Hope your holidays is as inspiring as mine is…